One of the great tragedies of human life is that so many
of us have no idea who we really are, or how powerful we
are capable of being, or that having healthier bodies is
much more within our reach than we had imagined.
We are literally brainwashed as children and young adults
to believe disempowering things about ourselves and about
life in general that simply aren't true. These megadoses
of misinformation we're exposed to can result in low self-esteem,
a bad self-image, and feelings of powerlessness to be, do,
or have what we want in life. As a consequence, we live
lives that are far below our potential, and much less satisfying
than we deserve.
The truth of this is easy to see by observing young children,
or perhaps by recalling our own lives before this destructive
cultural brainwashing had taken its toll. Children are full
of optimism, excitement, playfulness, and a willingness
to dream big. But as life moves forward, the prevailing
cultural notions begin to slowly but steadily chip away
at their childlike wonder. They eventually become cynical,
negative, depressed, or even suicidal.
Think about it for a moment. Look around and see how many
people you can spot who are clearly suffering from chronic
low expectations--who are always expecting the worst in
life, and usually end up getting it. But even those of us
whose afflictions are not so obvious can still suffer greatly
because of the untruths we've been taught.
Cultural Time Bombs
Not every limiting thing we were told as children had
its impact right away. Some of the verbal toxins took years,
or even decades, to kick in. They were "cultural time
bombs," planted in childhood, but timed to explode
at point in our adult lives when they could do the most
damage.
How many of us were told that, "You'll never amount
to anything," or "You're not smart enough / pretty
enough / strong enough to have what you want." Or maybe
you were told that you were too short, too tall, too skinny,
or too fat to succeed. Such statements generally came, not
from the culture at large, but from people we knew well,
and often from our own parents.
While the impact of these messages may have been minimal
at the time of delivery, they were seldom heard only once.
Instead, they were typically repeated many times over many
years. Since we saw our parents and teachers as the primary
sources of wisdom in our lives, we had little choice but
to give at least a certain amount of credence to whatever
they told us.
The overall effect was that these toxic, self-sabotaging
beliefs slowly but surely wormed their way into our belief
system. Over time, they made the transition from being other
people's opinions to being the undisputed truth. So, even
if they didn't cause us significant harm in childhood, they
would have many more opportunities to do so in our adult
lives.
The Real Recipe For Becoming Overweight And Out
Of Shape
There is a popular notion in this culture that being overweight
and out of shape is something that "just happens"
as we get older. We often say justify it on the basis that
it's an inherited problem; We're overweight because our
parents were. This simply isn't so. Genetic obesity accounts
for the tiniest fraction of overweight adults. We can see
the truth of this by thinking about the fat cats and dogs
we know. When you look at a fat cat sprawled out on the
sofa, do you think, "Poor kitty. It's the victim of
genetic obesity." Of course not. You know exactly why
the cat is fat. It just eats too much!
Let's give ourselves the courtesy of applying the same
clear logic to our own lives. We're overweight because we
eat too much! We can look around and see that many people
remain trim and in shape because they don't eat too much.
What is the biggest difference between the two groups? It's
those negative and untrue beliefs about who we are, what
we can do, and what we're entitled to have in our lives.
Your Past Does NOT Have To Determine Your Future
As adults, each of us needs to understand how we may have
been impacted by the culture we grew up in and, more importantly,
by the words of the influential people closest to us. If
we are finding it consistently difficult to lose weight
or get in shape, it's a safe bet that we've bought into
some very disempowering notions along the way that have
now become beliefs.
Please understand, the fact that we bought into these self-sabotaging
beliefs as children is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing
to be in denial about. Quite the contrary, we need to see
that all of us suffer from this cultural brainwashing to
one degree or another.
What we do need to avoid is keeping our heads buried in
the sand. If you have a history of struggling with fitness
and weight loss, you need to understand that the root cause
of your problem is in your own beliefs, and nothing of a
physical nature. But you also need to know that, until your
self-sabotaging beliefs are identified and replaced with
self-supportive ones, no amount of messing around with diets,
exercise machines, drugs, metabolizer pills, or anything
else physical is going to bring you the safe and lasting
results you desire and deserve.
In all likelihood, you have decades more life ahead of
you. I'm sure you're aware of that. What you may not be
aware of is that you have a tremendous amount of power to
determine how your future life will be lived--including
your level of self-esteem you get to enjoy and the shape
of your body you get to occupy. If you are seriously interested
in making your future better than your past, I urge you
to take to heart the message of this article.
If your current condition is not to your liking, there
is still time to do something about it. If you would like
to know more about how you can identify and replace any
beliefs that are right now lowering your quality of life,
please click here.
Dr. Frank B. Smoot, DD, MA
GHF's Success & Personal Growth Coach
>>
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